I can barely remember it. I must have been eleven or twelve when I discovered
that fondling my penis brought a measure of pleasure. A little later I
discovered that if I manipulated it just a little it would lead to an
electric sensation after a while. Then, one time, unexpectedly, while
the electric sensation was going on there was a flow of white fluid from
the tip of my penis. I thought, my God, I've broken something, what'll
I do. But my fears were quieted when a friend told me that the ejaculation
was a part of the electric feeling, and that it was called cumming. Well,
from then on I enjoyed the sensation to it's fullest, and brought it about
as often as I could do so conveniently.
It was along about that time that I discovered that some school chums were indulging in the same act. It wasn't long before we were often meeting after school in a fellow jacker-offer's garage seeing who could come the first, and who could shoot the farthest.
All of this was well and good as it happened, but after the orgasm I began to feel pangs of conscience. I even envisioned God and his angels looking down and grieving over this awful practice. I was from a very religious environment, and I sought by prayer and even fasting to break this sinful habit that seemed to possess me more and more. I thought of it more and more, and indulged in it oftener. But with every session there followed these terrible pangs of grief and regret. There were even times when I fancied holding back my arms and hands to prevent the practrice. But most of the time those efforts would be met with failure--I did it again, damn it! But I'll never do it again I would assure myself.
As I began to mature and enter into adulthood the conscience became less and less of a problem, but I still felt in my heart of hearts that it was a moral failure, and would somehow or other keep me from "heaven.." I'd have to give it up eventually.
Then I met the woman whom I wished to spend my life with. I thought to myself, well at any rate I won't have to do this anymore--thank God! But strangely enough from time to time the urge still seized me. I hate to even confess this, but several times on my honeymoon I indulged in the practice in the shower, or in a secluded spot. All through the twenty-five years of my marriage there were times when this was my sex of choice. Of course in the last couple of years when the marriage was hitting snags I began to jack off more and more rather than perform my husbandly duties. I remember one time when I arrived home after everyone had gone to bed. I undressed downstairs so as not to waken my wife. The urge grabbed me, and I lay on the living room floor stretched out comfortably and began the process of achieving my goal. Unexpectedly the light snapped on and my wife stood at the door. She hastily extinguished the light and said, "I heard the car drive up, the door open, and I couldn't figure out what had happened. She then retired upstairs. I even finished the deed although my ardor had been lessened somewhat. The next morning when she got up to go to work I pulled the covers over my head and feigned sleep just so I wouldn't have to face her in my embarassment.
After the divorce I continued the practice in between my frequent forays into sex with multiple partners. And now, even though I have been without sex partners for almost five years, I still have a go at it at least three or four times a week.
I must confess that I no longer feel that feeling of dispair over performing this ungodly act. In fact I don't even feel that it is an ungodly act! In my own experience, and discussing the subject with many many men I discover that almost everyone does it regularly, whether married or single. However, regretfully, I find that there are still so many who feel that it is immoral, or even spiritually sinful. I have done what I could to dispell those fears. In fact I am choosing this vehicle to continue to give enlightenment to those who feel pangs of conscience, or even disgust that they have succumbed.
I can say unequivocally, as a 77 year old with a lifetime of experience, it is the most natural act of any man. In frequency it exceeds any other form of sexual endeavor for almost every living male. In fact, as the old joke about rape goes, I say, "when inevitable, relax and enjoy it!"