"On Marriage"

By Hillman Minx

Married? You still have those old urges? Well, here's my story.

I was married for twenty-five years. I am the father of two children, a boy and a girl. In many ways that twenty-five years of marriage was successful and generally fulfilling. That is except for this unfulfilled longing lurking in the back of my mind.

To tell my story perhaps I should go back to my early youth when I found myself sexually experimental with other boys. Later in my youth as I hitchhiked to and from school and other places, I encountered men who wished to introduce me to their homosexual world. At first I consented reluctantly, but then I found myself hoping for an encounter every time I hitchhiked. I might add that I was not often disappointed.

Then I began to meet certain people who introduced me into their society. I was raised in Hollywood and met many prominent homosexuals, some of whom I did their thing with. I remember once when a very well-known song writer wanted to make me his boy. As gently as I could, I said, "But Bob I intend to get married and have children." My intention was always that!

When I met Mary I knew that she was the one who could rescue me from my old life. We had many things in common and were good together. But shortly after the marriage, while I was happy with that life, I sorely needed the ministrations of another man. Strangely enough, it didn't seem to interfere with my married life.

As the years went by I discovered that there were many other married men of my acquaintance with similar unfilled longings. We managed to get together to placate our mutual desires. Quite often when we'd get together as couples, then the other husband and I would contrive a trip to the store or something similar. We would quickly enjoy a brief interlude. I also remember when one a suspicious wife questioned her husband about our jaunts. Of course it spoiled that association for sure.

Eventually I felt that I had to share with my wife my need for extracurricular forays. Surprisingly she accepted the knowledge with some equanimity. Her only request was that I never do it in our home, or bring disgrace to her and the children. I found these very reasonable requests and never did.

There came a time, however, when the children were grown and my wife enjoyed a prominent position of authority, we grew slowly apart. In fact, it was then that a divorce seemed to be a reasonable alternative for our fractured marriage. At that time we separated amicably.

Since those days about twenty years ago I have espoused another way of living. I am definitely an acknowledged homosexual. I am presently in a very satisfying relationship which I expect to last as long as I do (I'm 80).

In closing though, I must express some of my conclusions. First and foremost, if it had been entirely up to me, I would have wished that my hetrosexual marriage had endured. Even thought it was not a perfect arrangement, by a long shot, I was comfortable with that existence.

I would not recommend divorce except in the most extenuating circumstances. But if divorce is inevitable it should be accepted with grace allowing for a whole new world of experiences to take its place. In either case, though, have fun and enjoy.

In closing I would remind you that these are the musings of a very old silverfox. I realize that there are other opinions and I am open to them.

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